new prosthetic techniques
Mark Devens
Description
Collection
Title:
new prosthetic techniques
Creator:
Mark Devens
Date:
11/2/2010
Text:
HI
I see all the hubbub about technicians doing those 'artificial legs' now via
the newfangled internet.here's someone everyone should be aware about..the
new wave in prosthetic care
COLONEL JEHOSEPHAT'S LEGS N' THINGS EMPORIUM
Welcome to LEGS N' THINGS, the new way to replace your amputated limb!
Are you tired of the same old professionals treating you?
Don't want to bother with the 'old way' of getting a prosthesis?
I bet you don't! Who does? Who has the time to get a professional leg made?
Why go through the hassle of visiting someone who is trained to make
artificial limbs, someone who has an office and insurance and is responsible
if anything goes wrong.someone who is licensed and certified..phooey on that
my friend!
They just want to get paid to make your leg.the nerve of some people.
That's the 'old way' my friend..
Got ulcers?
Got serious deformities?
Got bony areas, neuromas, phantom pain, muscle imbalance, contractures..?
Forgettaboutit!!
Now you can use the 'Stickyourstumpinabucketandsendittous' technique,
pioneered by Colonel Farley 'Stump Man' Jehosephat.
The Colonel worked for 3 months at an 'artificial leg place' and decided to
dispense with all those 'high-falutin' elite notions of 'biomechanics'
(they're for prima donnas!), 'alignment' (they're for people without gut
instincts) and fastidious measurements (hell..can you spell biometrics.I
can't!)
Instead, The Colonel brings that good old homey common man touch to your
fake leg care.
With The Colonels' method, you get to choose all your components (new or
used), choose right or left, regardless of the side that was cut off, and
choose your own socket design.
And The Colonels prices!...well son, now there's the real secret to the
Colonels success.
Even a good old boy like you can get a leg from the Colonel.
Payments at 28% interest, little down, and 8 years to pay.everyone walks out
of the Colonels place.
To receive our Bucket-O-Plaster Missing Leg Measuring Kit, call 800-Leg-Gone
and ask for James Stonewall Assinhand.
Oh.and don't forget to give us the length of your other leg.the good one.so
we can get it pretty close.
Ya'll call soon.
The Colonel
I see all the hubbub about technicians doing those 'artificial legs' now via
the newfangled internet.here's someone everyone should be aware about..the
new wave in prosthetic care
COLONEL JEHOSEPHAT'S LEGS N' THINGS EMPORIUM
Welcome to LEGS N' THINGS, the new way to replace your amputated limb!
Are you tired of the same old professionals treating you?
Don't want to bother with the 'old way' of getting a prosthesis?
I bet you don't! Who does? Who has the time to get a professional leg made?
Why go through the hassle of visiting someone who is trained to make
artificial limbs, someone who has an office and insurance and is responsible
if anything goes wrong.someone who is licensed and certified..phooey on that
my friend!
They just want to get paid to make your leg.the nerve of some people.
That's the 'old way' my friend..
Got ulcers?
Got serious deformities?
Got bony areas, neuromas, phantom pain, muscle imbalance, contractures..?
Forgettaboutit!!
Now you can use the 'Stickyourstumpinabucketandsendittous' technique,
pioneered by Colonel Farley 'Stump Man' Jehosephat.
The Colonel worked for 3 months at an 'artificial leg place' and decided to
dispense with all those 'high-falutin' elite notions of 'biomechanics'
(they're for prima donnas!), 'alignment' (they're for people without gut
instincts) and fastidious measurements (hell..can you spell biometrics.I
can't!)
Instead, The Colonel brings that good old homey common man touch to your
fake leg care.
With The Colonels' method, you get to choose all your components (new or
used), choose right or left, regardless of the side that was cut off, and
choose your own socket design.
And The Colonels prices!...well son, now there's the real secret to the
Colonels success.
Even a good old boy like you can get a leg from the Colonel.
Payments at 28% interest, little down, and 8 years to pay.everyone walks out
of the Colonels place.
To receive our Bucket-O-Plaster Missing Leg Measuring Kit, call 800-Leg-Gone
and ask for James Stonewall Assinhand.
Oh.and don't forget to give us the length of your other leg.the good one.so
we can get it pretty close.
Ya'll call soon.
The Colonel
Citation
Mark Devens, “new prosthetic techniques,” Digital Resource Foundation for Orthotics and Prosthetics, accessed November 23, 2024, https://library.drfop.org/items/show/232024.
